DVDiculous: Dark Knight Returns Part 1

A few weeks ago while trolling the internets I stumbled upon the fact that there was going to be a Batman: The Dark Knight Returns animated movie based off of Frank Miller’s graphic novel of the same name. Not only that, but it was coming out very soon! The first thing I noticed, and was very happy about, was that the art style was not based exactly on Miller’s style. Don’t get me wrong. I like his art…sometimes. And don’t get me started on how terrible the Dark Knight Strikes Again story, art, and coloring was. Sheesh…

This movie starts off with Bruce Wayne in a race car pushing it past its limits before it explodes and he ejects. Bruce, now at 55 years old, meets up with Commissioner James Gordon who is also retiring from his job. Gordon hopes that Bruce really stays retired and brings up a sore spot when he mentions Jason Todd, the Robin that was killed by The Joker years prior. Bruce leaves and wanders to Crime Alley where his parents were murdered and is confronted by The Mutants, a gang that now runs the streets doing every violent thing you can imagine.

Bruce sits at home watching the news and how violent his city is getting. He begins to have nightmares and ends up walking into the Batcave. Alfred tells Bruce that he set off the alarms and asks him when he shaved his mustache. Bruce touches his face as if shocked that it is indeed gone. Know why? Because Batman ain’t got no mustache! Bruce ends up suiting up as Batman as Harvey Dent aka Two Face is released after getting surgery to look normal again. He immediately plots to blow up two buildings. Batman stops him and sees that Dent is damaged mentally beyond repair.

A girl named Carrie Kelley who was saved by Batman from some mutants earlier and as she sits at home listening to her parents bitch about the rising crime while getting stoned and reminiscing on their marches they did for peace. Carrie buys a Robin costume and stops a purse snatching. She follows Batman who is on the way to fight the Mutants.

The leader challenges Batman hand to hand after Batman takes out hundreds of the mutants with rubber bullets. Batman gets his ass kicked. Yes, he does get some good shots in, but he is no match for the Mutant leaders power and pure savagery. Robin jumps onto the Mutant leader giving Batman time to throw a gum-like pullet in his face that keeps him from breathing.

Robin helps him into the Batmobile as Alfred over the sound system. Alfred tells her thanks and to leave but she doesn’t. Batman, battered and dying, tells her his name and allows her to enter the Batcave. The Mutant leader is arrested and is set free by Gordon as a last favor to Batman.

Robin, dressed as a Mutant, tells them to all meet at the Pipe. The Mutant leader breaks free and he and Batman fight! This fight is fucking awesome. Batman doesn’t make the same mistakes that he did during the first fight. Batman breaks his ribs, disables an arm, breaks a leg…just destroys him. He did it to prove a point and the Mutants end up becoming the Sons of the Batman and now fight crime.

A popular therapist continues to question Batman’s methods as the citizens of Gotham City begin to defend their city once again. Meanwhile The Joker who has not said a word in years keeps hearing Batman’s name on TV and begins to smile before turning around all kinds of creepy and saying “B-B-Batman, darling.” Then the movie ends! Aah! Aah! Aah!

This was a badass movie. It was an hour long and part two isn’t coming out until next friggin’ winter! I am so jealous of anyone that has never read the graphic novel and doesn’t know what’s coming next. Batman voiced by Peter Weller aka Robocop is perfect as Batman. He sounds like what I imagine Batman would sound like after years of fighting. This movie is very violent and bloody as DC Comics continues to pump out the best animated films being made.